You've asked your child to get dressed five times.
They've managed to put on one sock, gotten distracted by a toy, and now they're telling you the other sock doesn't feel right.
You're running late, everyone's getting frustrated, and you're wondering: What's actually going on here?
Is your child having trouble paying attention? Is something about their clothing genuinely uncomfortable? Or is it just one of those mornings?
As an occupational therapist, I'm interested in understanding not just what a child is struggling with, but why.
Because two children might have the exact same difficulty getting dressed, yet need completely different types of support.
And figuring out what's behind the struggle can make all the difference.
Getting Dressed Is More Complicated Than You Think
Getting dressed seems like such a simple everyday task. But when we break it down, there's actually a lot going on.
A child needs to stop what they're doing, remember what comes next, find their clothes, put them on in the right order, and stay focused long enough to finish.
At the same time, they're managing how those clothes feel against their skin, coordinating their movements, maintaining their balance, and using fine motor skills to manage things like buttons, zippers, and socks.
That's a lot of skills working together!
So when a child struggles to get dressed, there isn't always one obvious explanation.
Let's look at a few possibilities.
When Attention and Executive Functioning Are the Challenge
Your child starts getting dressed, spots a toy, and five minutes later they're still in their pajamas.
Or perhaps they've managed to put on their pants but completely forgotten what comes next.
They know how to get dressed. The challenge is getting started, remembering the steps, staying focused, or finishing the task.
These are all skills connected to executive functioning.
One thing I pay attention to when working with children is whether they can complete each part of an activity individually but struggle to put everything together independently.
For example, a child might be perfectly capable of putting on their socks, pants, and shirt, but have difficulty organizing the entire routine.
That's an important distinction.
They don't necessarily need someone to teach them how to get dressed. They may need support managing the process.
Sometimes small changes can make a big difference:
- Laying clothes out in the order they'll be worn
- Giving one instruction at a time
- Using a simple visual checklist
- Reducing distractions in the room
Does this mean your child has ADHD?
Not necessarily.
Executive functioning skills are still developing throughout childhood. ADHD involves a broader, persistent pattern of difficulties that affects functioning across different situations.
Struggling to get dressed in the morning, on its own, doesn't tell us enough.
When Sensory Discomfort Is the Challenge
Now imagine a different scenario.
Your child is ready to get dressed. They're not particularly distracted, and they know exactly what they need to do.
But the moment those socks go on, everything falls apart.
The seam feels uncomfortable. Their waistband is too tight. The tag on their shirt is irritating.
To an adult, it might seem like they're making a big deal out of something small.
But to the child, that discomfort may be very real.
And reminding them to get dressed another five times isn't going to make those socks feel any better!
When I'm trying to understand whether sensory processing is contributing to a child's difficulties, one of the things I look for is consistency.
Does the same clothing cause discomfort repeatedly, even on otherwise good mornings?
Are certain fabrics, textures, or seams consistently difficult to tolerate?
Does the child seem more comfortable when wearing particular types of clothing?
These patterns can give us valuable information.
Sometimes the solution is surprisingly simple: trying seamless socks, choosing softer fabrics, removing irritating tags, or allowing a child to choose between clothing options they find comfortable.
The goal isn't necessarily to make the child tolerate every uncomfortable sensation. It's to help them participate in daily activities as comfortably and independently as possible.
And Sometimes... It's Just Tuesday
Here's something else worth remembering.
Sometimes your child is simply tired.
Or hungry.
Or overwhelmed.
Or having a particularly difficult morning.
Maybe they didn't sleep well. Maybe yesterday was a long day. Maybe there's something happening at school that's weighing on them.
We all have days when things that are usually easy suddenly feel harder.
Children are no different.
A child who usually gets dressed independently might need more reminders, patience, or hands-on support on a difficult morning.
And that's okay.
The important thing is noticing whether these challenges happen occasionally or whether they're becoming a consistent part of everyday life.
Of course, these explanations aren't mutually exclusive.
A child can have both attention difficulties and sensory sensitivities. And both may become more noticeable when they're tired, hungry, or overwhelmed.
That's why looking at the whole child, rather than one isolated behavior, is so important.
So What Should Parents Look Out For?
Rather than focusing only on the behavior you're seeing, try getting curious about what's happening underneath it.
Here are a few questions worth asking:
1. Where exactly does your child get stuck?
Is it starting the task? Remembering the steps? Staying focused? Or physically managing the clothing?
2. Is there a pattern?
Does this happen every morning? Only when you're rushing? Only with particular clothing? Or mainly after a poor night's sleep?
3. Does it happen during other activities?
If your child struggles to follow through with getting dressed, do you notice similar difficulties when brushing teeth, packing a bag, or completing other daily routines?
4. What actually helps?
Do things improve when you give one instruction at a time? When you remove distractions? When you change their clothing? Or when you simply give them a little extra support?
These observations might seem small, but they can tell us a lot.
And remember, attention and sensory processing aren't the only factors involved in dressing.
Balance, coordination, body awareness, motor planning, and fine motor skills all play important roles too.
That's one of the reasons occupational therapists look at the entire activity, rather than focusing on one particular behavior.
One Thing to Try Tomorrow Morning
Before reminding your child to get dressed for the sixth time, take a moment to observe where they're actually getting stuck.
If they're distracted, try laying out their clothes in order.
If their clothing seems uncomfortable, see whether changing it makes a difference.
If they know what to do but can't seem to get started, try breaking the routine into smaller steps.
And if they're simply exhausted, maybe today they need a little more help than usual.
Try changing just one thing for a few mornings and notice what happens.
You're not looking for a perfect morning. You're looking for patterns that help you better understand your child.
And if getting dressed continues to be a significant struggle, an occupational therapist can help identify which skills or challenges may be getting in the way.
It's Not Just About Getting Dressed
This is one of the things I love most about occupational therapy.
Sometimes helping a child become more independent isn't about teaching them an entirely new skill.
It's about understanding why something they do every day has become so difficult.
Maybe they need a different strategy. Maybe they need a change in their environment. Maybe they need support developing a particular skill.
And sometimes, they just need a little extra patience on a Tuesday morning.
Because when we understand what's getting in the way, we can start finding ways to make everyday life easier.
And those small changes can make a big difference in a child's confidence, independence, and ability to participate in daily life.
Chavi Stefansky, OT
Chavi Stefansky is an Occupational Therapist based in Ra’anana, providing pediatric OT services in Ra’anana, Herzliya, and Kfar Saba. She specializes in working with children with ADHD, as well as supporting children with challenges related to executive functioning, cognitive skills, and sensory processing. Chavi brings a warm, practical, and engaging approach to therapy, tailoring each session to the unique needs and goals of every child. She is passionate about helping children build confidence, independence, and the skills they need to thrive at home, in school, and in everyday life.
You can connect with Chavi or another OT/SLP/PT/dietitian in your area by reaching out to us via Whatsapp or Email.
